Take 5 with Cindy Gendrich

Dr. Cindy Gendrich

Professor, Department of Theatre and Dance at Wake Forest University

1. How do you define success for yourself? What has helped you to be successful?

Truth be told, I don’t love the word success, at least as a goal for my life. It seems to imply that there is, somewhere out there, a secure mountaintop where you are perpetually admired and happy, where nothing bad can touch you—and that’s a fantasy. Everyone has grief and disappointments, as well as moments of fulfillment and elation. It’s all transitory. So I would rather think about growth. As an artist, as a teacher, as a human being, I make mistakes all the time. But if I am growing from those mistakes, becoming better, kinder, more ethical, more skilled, and more present, then I believe I’m on the right path. If I’m living ever more fully and authentically, giving and receiving love and grace, pushing the boundaries of what I can do and what I know, and more often than not enjoying myself, then that feels like a good life.

2. Think of a time that you faced a challenge, obstacle, or roadblock. How did you get through that and what did you learn?

Living in the moment is one of the best strategies I have for making it through difficult things. As I write this I’m looking at back surgery in a couple of weeks, and I’m trying to just stay present, instead of obsessing about why my back got messed up or what might go wrong with the surgery. Worry and planning are not the same thing, of course. I’m getting information, making my house ready for the aftermath, and asking people to take care of my dogs. Work is the same. As a theatre director, I have to do research and make plans before we begin a production process, but my single most valuable tool is the ability to stay present and aware. Only then can I coax my team’s imaginations into brave, embodied, active choices.

It is devilishly hard to make good theatre and that’s one of the things I love about it. What’s better than doing something difficult really well?  There are bound to be moments of discomfort in any challenging endeavor, of course, but that can be minimized by trusting the process, staying present, and surrounding yourself with great people. I have learned that I love doing (and making) challenging things with people who value the collaborative process, who are willing to disagree with kindness instead of vitriol, who have ideas they’re excited to share and who listen well, who love to laugh, and who bring their whole selves to whatever it is we are doing. I want relationships with those people. Obviously I have to bring my best self to bear in those situations, too, but anything hard is made better by having the right mindset and the right people with you.

3. Who are your people (either by name or role) who help you to be successful/confident/intentional/reflective/any other descriptor you want to use? And how have they helped you?

I have great siblings, but beyond them I am lucky to have two or three dozen people in my life who I feel deeply connected to. Some are friends I’ve known for fifty years, some are former students or mentors, some colleagues I’ve had for decades. Still others are creative partners I bonded with only a few months ago. I’m hesitant to name names because I don’t want to accidentally leave out someone who is important to me, but I think the key is to find that spark between you that lets you know you really see each other—and that you can trust and play with one another. It’s not enough to just “spark,” though. You have to feed that spark. Let your people know they matter. Encourage and support them.

My people have helped me in every imaginable way, offering wisdom, kindness, and perspective, humor and distraction, conversation and action. They’ve sat with me through great and terrible meals and plays, traveled with me, collaborated with me, encouraged me, and pushed me to do better. They’ve cared for me when I was sick and/or depressed, helped me laugh at myself when I was an idiot, and applauded me when I’ve done something admirable. They have also allowed me to help them, and I can’t overstate how important that has been. Feeling useful, knowing that I can be there to catch people when they stumble, is nourishing to my soul.

4. How did you find your people?

I have found many of my people through making theatre, which is an intense environment that requires (and inspires) openness, bravery, and endless curiosity. You don’t have to do theatre to find people you click with, of course, but I don’t know how you find them if you’re not willing to be vulnerable about yourself and curious about them. I suppose it helps that I like people and am not at all private—so I tend to be willing to jump into the deep end of the pool with almost anyone.

Time is also a powerful bonding agent. I’ve been at Wake for twenty-five years, and many of my long-time friends/colleagues are like family to me. Random day-to-day experiences can often help you find your people (or realize that they’ve been here all along) and my Theatre and Dance colleagues and I have been through just about everything together.

5. What advice would you give to Wake Forest students as they look for their people?

First, be yourself, the one and only you, and share yourself fully. Your silly, or nerdy, or drag-queen, or anime-obsessed self is fabulous. You are worth knowing just as you are. Don’t feel that you have to change or that you can’t continue the things you enjoyed when you were younger. Don’t stop playing your trumpet. Keep playing volleyball. Start playing chess again. Audition for a play. You don’t have to start from scratch.

On the other hand, embrace the adventure and keep growing. One of my favorite people is someone I got close to while traveling in China and Japan together, and another through creating a busy interdisciplinary center together. Wake Forest will give you lots of opportunities to grow, so take them! You’ll also find plenty of chances to conform and shrink, and I hope you won’t let that happen. Be you, and branch out. Travel and share experiences with new people. Strike up a conversation with that fascinating person in your politics class. Go to a play or a dance concert with someone you only slightly know, and bond over the experience. You might find friends you will still adore when you’re as old as I am.

And finally, recognize that you are going to spend most of your first year getting acclimated. I have had so many advisees come to me in November of their first year, worried they are not finding their tribe. By the time they graduate, it’s like summer camp and they don’t want to leave. So don’t expect to find your life-long friends in a semester. There’s nothing wrong with you, and they are out there. Be patient.